Anyone that knows me knows that I love Target. LOVE. I shop there so I can use their Cartwheel App on my iPhone, I think it is so fun. I shop there so I can save 5% by using my Target debit card. That's right, debit not credit. How they make money on that I'll never know because there are no fees. And you know that you need to save the 5% because you always purchase things you don't really need but just have to have.
I do not work on Monday, so this past Monday I was at home with the boys, but we needed to go to Target for several reasons:
- Thanksgiving was a mere three days away and I was responsible for Green Bean Casserole and had none of the necessary ingredients at home except the milk.
- I needed diapers for Logan because he came down with a nasty case of hand, foot and mouth disease. This caused a horrific welt-like rash on his bottom (the disease really should be called hand, foot, mouth, and butt...) which we were putting cream on with every diaper change. However, we use cloth diapers and creams are generally a no-no when it comes to cloth diapers, so I had to pick up some disposables.
- Well, I just like Target way more than Walmart and will drive the extra 6.5 minutes to get to Target.
When we pull up to Target I discover that Logan has fallen asleep even though he has only been up for an hour for which credit can be given to the virus he had. I had to wake him up which of course causes him to be extremely crabby. We enter the store and to my great dismay, they have none of the fabulous child friendly carts. You know, the ones that are so big they are impossible to steer but keep the kids AWAY from the items to be purchased? They look like this:
It's OK, we can survive Target without the super annoying HUGE cart. Those were my fatal last words... Logan goes up top and gets strapped in, and Braden, well, he has to sit in the basket. What could possibly go wrong?
The first thing we see are those dollar bins that are super awesome to look through when you are shopping alone, and your nightmare when your kids are with you because all of the items are just so much fun to the little ones. Braden see something he just has to have and is literally trying to jump out of the cart which is increasing in speed as I'm trying to fly past this display. We hit the baby aisle for diapers and some pull-ups because yes, we are diving into potty training after Thanksgiving. I see that sippy cups are on sale, and I have a 10% off coupon on the Cartwheel App, and anyone that says they have too many sippy cups is lying. You always need more. They get lost, the littles eat through the spouts, or you discover a sippy cup of milk in the minivan after an unknown period of time and instead of cleaning it you just pitch it. That's just plain disgusting and totally not worth the horrible sight and smell. Barf.
Head on over toward the grocery section when I realize that Braden is not talking anymore. He's ALWAYS talking. Not good. He has opened up the sippy cup package and is now licking them. Ewwww.... Oh well, he probably won't get any more crazy germs than the hand, foot, and mouth already in our house. Take item away, insert toddler meltdown over removed item, ignore the stares, etc, etc.
Proceed to the grocery section. Green beans, check. Cream of mushroom soup, check. Milk, check. French's Fried Onions.... nowhere to be found. Up and down the aisles we go. Multiple times. Cue boys throwing items out of the cart in protest of the length of time this shopping trip is taking. "Boys! If you calm down Mommy will buy you a special treat at the checkout." Up and down the aisles we go again. Where in God's name are the freaking fried onions???? Oh, at the end of the candy aisle on a super tiny shelf? Logical place to put them. Silly me for not checking there first.
"Good news boys, we are ready to go!" Wait. Wait is that smell? It smells vaguely familiar. No, it's not poop - I know that smell too well. What is that??? It's driving me crazy, but at least the boys have chilled out, so I proceed to the checkout. Begin to put stuff on the belt and I realize what that smell is. Cream of Mushroom soup. Oh no. The cans of soup have been opened by my toddler. Stupid pop top lids. Seriously???? There is soup everywhere. Get mad. Breathe. Apologize to the cashier. Hand him open packages of sippy cups and open cans of soup. Can't imagine what he was thinking. Now the kids are crying because their "stuff" is on the conveyor belt. It was news to them we actually had to purchase the items - clearly they thought we already owned them. By now I am just ready to get out of the store, get home, and pretend this trip never happened. But of course, that would be too good to be true. The cashier was really very nice, but wanted to talk to me forever about why I should have a Target Red Card in addition to the debit card. Seriously dude? Do you not notice WWIII that is erupting in my cart? Please, just let me pay so I can go. Swipe my card, don't even pay attention to the total, grab my receipt and book it to the car.
Crap! I forgot to have him scan my Cartwheel! I could have saved money! No matter how much money I could have saved, one thing was for sure. I was not about to go back in that store to have someone at Customer Service refund it to me. Not worth it. Get kids in the car, bags in the car, sanitize the cart (because I wouldn't wish hand foot and mouth on anyone else), and leave.
Then I hear from the back seat "Mommy? Where's our special treat?" No. Just no.
Luckily, the rest of the day went much better. I was somewhat convinced it was only going to get worse.
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